Healing Heartbreak: Quick Steps to Recovery

h maregn
Jul 10, 2024
3 min read

We’ve all experienced that sinking feeling when our heart feels like it's drowning in a deep ocean with no hope of recovery. It leaves a scar, making it seem impossible to heal. But is there a secret that psychologists recommend to make the pain less overwhelming?

Not long ago, my boyfriend of three years cheated on me. I remember the day vividly. As a college junior, driving back from school, I saw a notification at a red light—my boyfriend was in a mutual friend's story. Seeing him with an unknown girl was strange. Clicking on her profile, I discovered multiple pictures of them kissing and hugging in his apartment. Shock and disbelief set in. I couldn’t move or breathe, and I started having a panic attack. Honking cars were ignored, and dialing 911 was the last thing I did before waking up in a hospital bed.

For some, such events are easier to handle, but for me, it was life-changing. After the incident, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and began taking prescription medication. It was the most painful moment I had ever experienced, leading me to drop out of college and leave the country to be with my parents. With extensive therapy and two years of social support and love, I was able to move on.

But what about those without social or family support? Many turn to alcohol and addictive substances to numb the engulfing pain. So, what steps can be taken to get over heartbreak?

Step 1: Accept and Admit the Impact

Admitting that a breakup has affected you is not a sign of failure but of strength. It shows the capacity for love and care. If the other person failed to appreciate that, it is their shortcoming, not yours.

Step 2: Avoid Hatred

Try not to hate the person who caused the pain, no matter how much it hurts. Strength comes from wishing them well. Maintaining a positive mindset helps your brain create dopamine, the feel-good hormone. In contrast, anger and resentment cause your brain to produce cortisol, which is harmful to your health.

Step 3: Pray for Them

Praying for someone who hurt you may sound unusual, but it creates a mindset of being a better person. It unconsciously positions you to pity their lack of empathy and pray for them. This act invalidates their power over you, fostering compassion and helping you dissociate from the hurt they caused.

Step 4: Talk and Cry

Speak with trusted friends or family members and vent all your emotions. Don’t hold back your tears. Crying releases built-up emotions, providing physical and emotional relief. This cathartic process reduces anxiety and depression, promoting emotional well-being.

Step 5: Let Time Heal

Do not force or blame yourself for not healing quickly. As the famous philosopher said, “Time is the wisest, because it brings everything to light.” Allow time to heal you and take the necessary time to process everything.

Step 6: Gain Perspective

Think about the universe and its vastness. Your heartbreak is a tiny fraction of a problem in the grand scheme of things. One day, looking back at this moment, you will want to hug yourself, knowing you are in a better place.